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It’s not about who is ‘right’ but rather it’s about being heard, respected, and understood.

When these conditions are met, a mutual understanding can usually be worked out.

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If they do, you will have the opportunity to express your perspective without judging or invalidating your partner’s view.

Doing so will promote increased trust and respect which will begin to diminish the feelings of fear and threat that underlie the rigidity that characterizes arrogance.

Trying to get a person who is closed to input that is inconsistent with their perspective to be more open-minded is, as many of us know from experience, a losing battle. At worst, things deteriorate and there is a serious degradation of trust and goodwill.

The alternative is not to try another strategy to get your partner to see things your way, since this will in all likelihood be responded to with more defensiveness or anger, but to respond with the very thing that your partner is withholding: openness, curiosity, and vulnerability.

This frustration can over time deteriorate into feelings of resignation or worse, despair.

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