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When a child experiences this unpleasant outcome, he can use that information to help him think about things next time he is considering breaking the rules. Your child didn’t turn the X-box off when you told him to, so you try to take the controller or the console itself in the heat of your argument when everyone’s emotions are running high.
The danger comes in when they use this distorted thinking to justify or rationalize their angry behavior.
In the Total Transformation Program, James Lehman identifies several different kinds of faulty thinking that kids experience.
We hear from parents every day who, without realizing it, are trying to control their children.
I think this is due, in part, to some common confusion about accountability and what that really means.
I was mad at my brother.” Or, “My teacher’s a jerk. ” If you pay attention to your own thoughts, I’m sure you’ll find that you experience faulty thinking from time to time as well, because it doesn’t just occur in children—we Yell, curse, or name-call: There’s no excuse for abuse—not by your child and not by you.